Reading Notes | Penguins are more distinctive than you: give yourself 10 speaking lessons and become a zero-gap communicator.

  Language :  한국어  中文版 日本語 

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Have you encountered:

When entering an unfamiliar environment and needing to introduce themselves in a simple sentence on stage, some people will always say embarrassingly:

"I don't know what to say"
"I'm very ordinary and have nothing to say"
"My speciality is that I have no speciality at all"

Everyone wants to be themselves and express themselves, but they don't know or can't express themselves at all. Even if such people learn hundreds of speaking skills, they still have communication barriers and lack of self-confidence.

The book I want to share today is: "Penguins are more distinctive than you, give yourself 10 speaking lessons and become a zero-gap communicator"

The author, Chu Shiying, is an international NGO worker who has worked with the British BBC Earth team in the past.

Sir Attenborough has met countless penguins in the past sixty years. Each penguin has its own personality, some are smart, some are stupid, some are cunning and some are generous. He has never seen two penguins with the same personality. of.

This also made the author begin to reflect : Why would a human believe that he is not as distinctive as a penguin?

" As long as you are particularly passionate about one thing and know how to express it, this person is a unique person "

Practical practice listening to the author's recorded audio suggestions

The author kindly attached an exercise book with the book, so that readers can compare the content of the book, refer to the author's spirit and ideas to do exercises, scan the QR code after the practice and listen to the author's voice file suggestions, shorten the distance, and effectively to help learning.

To listen to the author's recorded voice file, you will need to scan the QR code APP:

▲I scanned with this APP.

If you are an ios user, you can turn on the built-in camera scan.

1. Open the QR code APP on your mobile phone and scan the QR code

2. Open the webpage after decoding is complete

3. Listen to the voice file recorded by the author

Focus on 10 speaking lessons for yourself

There are a total of 10 small units in the book, and I will briefly mention the main points:

Learn to speak in the first lesson , you can become more able to listen

The focus of this lesson is on "listening" .
The person who can really speak is often the one who can listen the most. Please try to answer after the other person is sure to express his meaning, not when the other person is speaking Just when you want to answer, you can't "pretend you don't understand" and don't pretend to ask questions, show off your knowledge, make sure you can understand, so that more people can understand.

 Tips:

■  First of all, you must know how to ask good questions of the "what" type, and then you can learn to ask the "why" type of good questions. Then you can learn to ask the "how to" questions. "type of good questions , no shortcuts .

Lesson 2 If

you learn to speak, you will learn to see the world from the perspective of others

1. Change your head to think before you speak

2. Understand the program first, then speak

3. Determine the purpose of your speech, and then speak

4. Debate isn't a "show"

5. Make sure you conform to international etiquette before you speak

6. When it’s time to speak, speak up

7. Speak slowly in a language other than your own

8. Respect

 Tips:

■  Learn to think and talk with another head, imagine how you would think if the other party were you? In the end, if you decide your own position after reconciliation, you will not feel as if you are trying to please other people. If you do not know what to say, and are only eager to express your own opinions or reflect your own emotions, you will not have the conditions to speak up.

■  Speaking at a slower pace will actually help us face our true thoughts and make us more real.

 

Lesson 3 To

learn to speak, you must first find your own voice

If you don't like hearing yourself speak, is it because you don't like what you say, how you say it, or how you say it?

 Tips:

■  There is no such thing as perfect sound, but the sound after development has only a little characteristic, and it can be clearly displayed.

■  You can practice recording your own voice, find out the characteristics of your own voice without making any changes, find out what you don't like, repeatedly correct the speed and pitch, remove the long-used ending particles, and let yourself sound becomes unique.

 

Lesson 4

Learning to speak can make your reaction faster

A person's appearance is like a voice, only the medium of speech, but what really matters must be the content.

Just like a dish that is very beautifully presented, it must catch everyone's attention and be full of expectations from the first second it is served.

But the real key is whether the food is good or not .

The visual feast is just to let the speaker win at the starting point, and will not be the key to the victory.

The author suggests that when you speak, forget how you look first. It’s not the point of being beautiful or ugly. Focus on what you say. Usually, you should read more to cultivate your opinions, learn how to think clearly, and keep your head calm and sharp when encountering emergencies. react .

 Tips:

■  Speak as a charming person, not a beautiful person .

■  There is only one secret to being able to speak, which is to read more books at ordinary times.

■  Because it is ready at all times, it seems that there is no need to prepare at all.

■  Do you usually have the habit of reading, whether you have the ability to see the world from multiple perspectives, whether you know when to speak, when to interrupt, and when to listen quietly, are all important speaking skills.

Lesson 5

Learn to speak and pass ideas with zero gap

We thought it was important to have a good presentation with PPT, but the author refuted this view and suggested not to use PPT to assist the presentation:

He said : The most important thing in a speech is to "know what you are talking about". A speech is like writing a short story, and the first sentence at the beginning is very important.

Because "unknown" arouses strong curiosity, "known" brings anticipation, and the speech is the same, the speaker should decide whether they belong to the curious unknown type or the expected known type according to the characteristics of the audience.

"As long as the number of PPT sheets increases , the design will be more exquisite , and the feeling of being designed will be stronger. It may be very useful at the beginning, but the speaker itself will also rely on it, and the PPT will become the focus of the protagonist's eyes. Even the speaker I forgot that I was the protagonist.”

"As long as it's a topic you know a lot about, you'll naturally appear confident. Even if your eloquence is bad, people will feel your enthusiasm, and this enthusiasm can cover up 99% of your flaws in expression."

Finally, a brief summary is made in the author's words :

"A good speaker is not to rebuild a universe, but to point out a knowledge breaking point in other people's worldview through his speech, so that they feel the need to bridge knowledge."

Lesson 6

Learning to speak can bridge the gap

The focus of this lesson is to "focus on the greatest intersection with each other" 

When you meet people of different ages, experiences and education, don't focus on the differences between us, but find each other and us The common "biggest intersection", abandoning their original prejudices and positions, being genuinely curious about the thoughts in the other person's mind, and learning to ask high-quality questions, will surely make new discoveries.

 Tips:

■Look  more at the outside world, and keep curious about the problems!

■ There is a kind of person who is doomed to fail in communication, that is, he thinks he knows everything.

Lesson 7

Thinking can help speak

The focus of this lesson is on "thinking about how to say something valuable" . People who can think know the purpose of what they say and how to achieve it. You can communicate smoothly, get the expected response, and improve the effect of speaking.

Lesson 8: Stop

worrying about relationships

The focus of this lesson is to "put aside prejudices and express your inner thoughts" . Every label and prejudice has some truth and some degree of error, but because the wrong part is not explained in time, the prejudice is in the eyes of others. The cost of not speaking your mind is the greatest.

1. Let go of stereotypes:

The more familiar people are with each other, the more they must remember to keep a distance in the conversation, and at the same time hold curiosity, and not think that they already know what the other person thinks, or what kind of person the other person is.

"You're here again..." or "You're always like this..."

Such a sentence pattern is the exact opposite of Open Sesame. It is a magic sentence that immediately shuts the other person's heart.

 2. Understand the purpose of the conversation :

Recognize who is the protagonist of the conversation? When talking to someone you know, it is easy to forget the basic etiquette between people, suddenly go wrong, or not listen carefully. This will not make the other person feel close, but will only feel uncomfortable being respected.

3. Trust :

Please believe that the other party can think for themselves and make the right decision by themselves.

4. Cooperation :

We can help each other evoke memories and provoke thinking, but we must not help each other draw conclusions.

5. Create safe spaces :

Because we are acquaintances, we should be able to express more freely, but we often make the mistake of appealing to authority in this regard, making it difficult for the other party to communicate.

How to go from "you were born to me, why don't I know?" to "although you were born to me, but I may not know" is an art of talking to the people closest to you.

6. Study together :

Both sides of the dialogue must be able to learn from each other, and should not be presupposed to be a unilateral transmitter-receiver relationship. The advantage of talking with acquaintances is that you can temporarily put down your face and learn things that you are embarrassed to admit to the outside world.

Lesson 9

Talking can resolve conflicts

The focus of this lesson is on the "principle of speaking in the face of conflict". When facing a conflict, take the time to think about it clearly, otherwise speaking out may make the conflict more serious.

"A society with a little conflict at any time will force groups of different stances to talk, regardless of religion, gender, or different interest groups, and become a pluralistic society that learns to talk." This society has really not changed for the worse, it is you who has changed, you have changed have to be more socially conscious, even willing to step up and go into conflict, and that’s evidence that society is getting better.”

The secret to resolving conflicts is nothing but "respect, listen, accept, and support." Only say what you should say, and don't talk too much about what you shouldn't say. This is the key to effective conflict resolution.

Lesson 10

Talking lets us understand the world

The international outlook in the author's mind is "the ability to see the world from the perspective of others through each different language logic". The book mentions that there are 8 principles that need to be followed in the cross-cultural workplace:

1. Don't say negative words:
   The best way to complain about the logic is to only say good things, or not to say anything, you don't need to say negative things.
   
   
2. Don't talk about money
   unless the other party talks about it, it's the safest way to talk.
   
   
3. Don't talk about personal information, don't use your fingers:
   don't take the initiative to bring up the other person's private affairs.
   
   
4. You can’t just talk about the problem without explaining the solution:
   point out the problem at work, and at the same time make sure that you will provide solutions later. If you just point out the problem and can’t come up with a solution, you are talking nonsense and wasting everyone’s time.
   
   
5. Don't talk about personal feelings:
   When facing audiences from different cultural backgrounds, you should pay special attention to whether you are talking about personal feelings or objective analysis. If it is just personal feelings, you can actually say nothing, because others don't care how you feel , but about what you think and your arguments.
   
   "  I don't care about how you feel, I only care about what you think!  "
   
   
6. Don’t criticize at every turn:
   Criticizing people and things at will is not acceptable in a cross-cultural workplace.
   
   
7. Do not criticize other people's political views:
   Indiscriminately expressing opinions on the politics of other countries can have serious consequences.
   
   
8. No third party involved:
   We often inadvertently drag people into the water when we speak. For example, "That's what OOO told me." , don't think about doing things for the sky.
   
   

Experience feelings

This book uses 10 lessons to teach us how to speak, not a rigid textbook teaching, I think the content of this book is very simple and easy to read.

The author uses his life experience as an example to let us see how he learned to speak in a cross-cultural workplace. After reading it, it can be practically applied in life. Communication is a topic that has been practiced in life. From the closest family, classmates and colleagues to cross-cultural dialogue, these are constant issues we face in our lives.

What impresses me the most is that when we get along with the people closest to us, we often presume a position with prejudice, which is equivalent to helping him label it first, which leads to conflict, and finally we just don’t talk about it. .

The more people who are familiar with each other, the more they must remember to keep a distance in the conversation, and at the same time hold curiosity, and focus on the greatest intersection of each other, I believe that both parties can learn from each other, and should not be presupposed to be unilateral. , receiver relationship, knowing how to talk to the people you care about the most is learning how to talk, giving yourself the best gift, and encouraging it.

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To listen to the author's recorded voice file, you will need to scan the QR code APP:

▲I scanned with this APP.

If you are an ios user, you can turn on the built-in camera scan.

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